Friday, December 15, 2006

preemptive strike -Love , Marriage and Nigerians

Ok so this will be one of my many posts on love , marriage and nigerians. I dont have a very good view of marrriage. I dont think I want to get married anytime soon. When i hear marriage all i can think of is PRISON, TRAPPED. maybe its the bad marriages around me or something. I wasn even aware of trends in the naija marriage market until recently. Ok, so i am in the car with two friends driving to a party and the conversation goes like this.
Friend 1: My sister is getting married.
Omo naija : really when
Friend 1: next year
omo naija: isnt she too young , whats the rush
friend 2: young ke, at what age do you want to get married
omo naija : maybe at 30
friend 1 and 2 : eh 30 ke!!! ah you will be to old!!! who will marry you, if you tell a guy you are twentyy... they lean in but when they hear twenty seven , they lean back they dont want anything to do with you.
omo naija (at this point i am quite surprised) : at what age do you think people are supposed to be married
Friend 1 : in your early 20's so you can have your children early
omo naija : i wasnt aware of that , sorry oh
Friend 1:Friend 2 is getting married soon though
omo naija : (*at this point i descreetly look at her finger and see that there is no engagement ring on her finger, i say to myself where is the ring?? but outloud) oh really, when
friend 2: in about a years time

I later find out from friend 1 that the friend 2 met the guy she is talking about about a month ago from a dating website and she had only seen him once.. Who knows what the guy told her and she started telling everyone she was getting married, without a proposal

ok so after this conversation I realized i was kind of in the dark of expectations of marriage in the naija culture. talking to other friends i realized this was the prevalent opinion.
its like marriage is the sole purpose of a woman's life. she must get married. no matter how inappropiate the guy is, even if he cheats or whatever she must get married.
so i thought 2 myself . thank God my family does not have this attitude or so i thought
ok so a couple of weeks later iget a call from my aunt Aunt D. I am closest to Aunt D of all my momsie's sisters. She's only 8 years older than me, so we kind of click.
The phone conversation goes like this
Aunt D :Where are you?
omo naija: in another state, i came to visit friend . we went to primary school together
Aunt D : really, have fun make sure she takes you to meet guys ohh
omo naija :for what??!!
Aunt D: aahahh so you can start dating and maybe get married
omo naija : (At this point i am surprised, this was the first time i had heard this and i am not at all close to the age where i should start settling down so i say) how old do you think I am?
Aunt d: It doesnt matter, i have noticed thaat naija girls at a certain age are finding it hard to find husbands. done be like Busola(not real name)
Busola is my older aunts friend, she is 30 and not married. A crime in the naija world. My aunt said this like Busola had some incurable veneral disease. Her voice dripped with the silent assertion, dont be a failure like her,be like me I am married.
anyway as i talked to my aunty i realized that her and my older aunt , aunt B were already planning for my furture behind my back. they talked about which families thet wanted me to marry in to, who they wanted to hook me up with. eeehh i didnt no this was going on oh. My aunts are really military strategist, they wanted to start the search really early for me , so i would be well ahead of the game. Bush needed strategists like this when planning for the preemtive strike in iraq. where were my aunts when he needed them. I swear he would have found weapons of mass destruction with their help.
I love my aunts ;however, whats the rush! haba!!!
i can find a husband by myself and what if i decide to me like oprah and not get married!! ehh!!
marriage is not all that . not all marriages work. Aunt D fiights with her husband all the time. they fight like cats and dogs and they have only been married for 2 years. when i see her fighting with him, i am like is this what marriage is!?
i do eventually want to get married , nobody wants to be alone. furthermore, i cant be a 30 year old clubing with the 18 year olds and most of my friends will be married anyway. and i do want kids. but i will not be desperate.
A lot of naija girls have achieved a lot.they have careers and jobs, yet they are made to feel like failures because they are not married. As long as their momsie can say my daughter is married, they are satisfied."
its sad.

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

I produce beats, I design clothes

The new thing for rich kids from naija in college over here(yankee or jand) is for the guys to produce beats and the girls to be designers. By rich kids I mean the ones that went to A-hall, QC., KC, AIS, Grange, Vivian fowler and the rest. Just yesterday I downloaded the cd of one of my classmates. This is just another way to waste daddy's money. These boys are never going to be famous and they dont have that much talent anyway. yet they must get a studio and "produce" music.
The girls "design" , they draw out fits and send it to a firm that makes the clothes for them What is the big deal ???!! I can put those oufits together by myself. These kids claim they want to release creative energy. hmmmm we hear you!!
Awon omo yi ti ba je . They should go and read their books that it was they sent them to school to do. Not to produce beats. If they are really dedicated to their craft, they should give up school and do that full time. Hiss Double hiss. And let dadd cut you off. Momsie would have a fit !!! Lai Lai. They will just do it as a side project and spend daddys money.

An example of daddy's money group is amplyfied . those in the washington dc , maryland area should know them. Surprisinly there are good ;however, the chick in the group cannot sing for her life. She is horrible!!!!!! She must be banging one of the guys because shes not pretty enough to be the fine face in the group. Trust me they need fine faces because those boys aint no TYRESE. Couldnt they find a girl with a good voice!!!

Banky doesnt sing my kind of music but he is ok though.
There are too many of the daddys money singers out there. Cant they just go to school.

Oh and the ones that cant produce beats decide to be DJs. I cant hate them for that,These kids already have an A in partying and clubbing. Why waste money on DJ when you can Dj yourself

Monday, December 11, 2006

Naija until I die . F%&^ ABC

The ABC special on 419 scammers was bad. I mean I didnt no they would potray my beloved country in this light . I thought i was going to watch a show on 419 scammers that might even be funny. I didnt no i was going to watch the verbal tongue lashing and misrepresentaiom of my country. chai!!! The show started with this guy who was singing "I go chop your money ohh, you be mugu" i personally though that was funnny but that is beside the point. Brian Stossel ABC's "chief investigative reporter" then proceded to report lies to the already ignorant and arogant American public.

1. Scamming has become celebrated and encourged in Nigeria and the email scammers have become local celebraties. WHAT THE FUCK!!!!??? pls tell me fellow nigerians. Who introduces their popsie as a 419 scammer in naija and is proud. "My daddy is an email scammer"

2. Scamming has led to a hit song and movie . ABC did not hesitate to show this so called popular video calling white people mumus ; which I agree with. It is only an idoit that would believe that a total stranger wanted to give them millions of dollars . I mean this person does not know you!!!
i digress, thats beside the point.The song was by osoufia or something and it was the song for a satire on 419. ANd the movie was not a hit movie. By the way, every movie in naija is a "hit"

3. ABC did not try to discuss the greed of the white mumus involved. see me see trouble oh!!! a whole heart surgeon who went to school for 14 years gave his money to these scammers. Which kind of mugu be that. I would be so embarassed to show myself on camera. However, stossel did not care to elaborate on how greedy his country men were.The idiot just kept on repeating "Nigeria and Nigerians....."

4. The statement that got be pissed off!!! I wasnt pissed I was PIZZZZZED OFFF!! "Lagos is a crime -ridden disgrace of a city" Homie I was born in Lagos. What the ......!!!!? That was so harsh. ISnt it the same white man that will call us Third world country. how do you expect our country to look ? Like a "first world country" This was also a misrepresentation. They showed a quick shot of mushin and said that was the whole of lagos. Lets not lie, lagos is not all roses. But that white mans description was too much. I wanted to reach through the tv and slap him!!!

5. 419 scammers are lazy and dont want to work : Who can blame him for saying this, when the useless Nigerian oficial they interviewed said the same thing. That is a lie. These are poor college graduates with no jobs, hope, money . What do you expect them to do? There is no excuse for it but its not like this useless AKATA people (yeah what i said it ........AKATA) that have all the oportunites in the world but waste their life away.

ABC and this USA we live in is racist !!! they dont show their true feelings because they dont want al sharpton banging on their door. Look at how kramer is suffering now. How many times has the dude apologized? I mean if that special were about on akata neighbourhood. All the akata activists would be demanding for an apology.

I am not proud of NAija sometimes but haba dont portray the whole country as being made up of scammers

Monday, November 13, 2006


I don't understand myself. I try to but I cant. It funny because I am so introspective. I always thinking ruminating, analyzing. I drive myself crazy.
I do know that I am a neurotic mess. I have the almost irrational fears. I am scared that someones going to push me down the tracks while the train is coming. This fear is not so irrational, I hear psychos do push people off the train platforms. I am always scared I have cancer or AIDS. Not that I engage in risky behavior , I am not sexually active. When ever I read suspense novels, you know those ones with a psychopath killing everyone. I am scared that something like that could happen to me. BUT I am not only a neurotic mess. I am easy going, fun loving person almost child like. However, I am quiet and somewhat shy. I am not someone to start a conversation with you because I just don't like talking that much. I'll rather observe and watch people. This trait has enabled me to become a seasoned gossip. I love gossip, jist whatever you call it. I don't spread it but I love to hear it. Being an observer, I know a lot of shit that goes on. No secret is safe when I am around. hahahaha I don't have a lot of favorites because I am always in a gray area. I am neither there nor here. I always try to stay in the middle. Yes I am quite a freak.I love to laugh. I have a sister that always makes me laugh. I am with her almost every day. The wildest most dangerous thing i have done in my life is too too....r u ready.. skip classes. Yes i consider living on the edge when i skip classes. I am not really crazy about my parents. I don't like my father, my secret fantasy is that he dies and i inherit all his money. I am disappointed in my mother. It sucks when you find out your parents are imperfect. Maybe a little too imperfect for my liking. I love my uncle though i havent seen him in years. he is like my father. I think i could easily be clinically depressed if i didnt believe in God. I am impatient, I hate waiting. I am quite understanding maybe a little too understanding. I love New York on flavor flav. I hate being stressed out . I daydream to escape the boredom of my life.i love life. Some times i am so happy, sometimes i am so sad. I am self contained. i rarely say what i am feeling though i might have opinions in my head. I would rather listen to others talk about their lives than talking about mine.It is a defense mechanism. I don't want to get hurt.I am indecisive. I am easygoing, i just go with the flow, rarely impulsive but i am not a planner.

Wednesday, September 20, 2006


for some reason i thought blogs were expensive to maintain. only to find out they are free.yahh. i can blog anonymously from the privacy of my home and write what the hell i want and nobody can say jack to me. hmm the wonders of the Internet. this will be a great creative outlet for me. I no i have so much talent i have just been stifled. hmmm