Thursday, August 23, 2007

Germaphobe, Tv ! and 50 cent

arrgh everyone who knows me, knows i am a germaphobe!!! I am scared of germs ! i turn everybody i know into germaphobes. I try not to touch the train poles, elevators, door knobs. Using public bathrooms is scary as heck men! I touch the door with my elbow and flush with my leg. I cant even consider sitting down on the toilet seat DISGUSTING!!! Do you know the amount of germs , microbes that live in this world ewww! the only thing i cant escape is shaking hands especially in church.
Especially in Naija churces AARGH!!!!'
why does the pastor insist on telling us to shake , hug, or do whatever to the person sitting next to us.
One day this guy i was sitting next to was just coughing! coughing! and coughing into his hands. wiping his nose with his hands ! kept fiddling with his nose! I felt bad for him but DISGUSTING!!!!! oh mi gosh! my friend and I were already preparing ourselves for when the pastor would do the customary shake someones hands and edging away from the guy. IMMEDIATELY the pastor said it, we kept shaking each other for like minutes. we didn't turn to the guy, Then the guy kind of tapped my friend to shake her and can you imagine the girl jaboed me IMMedaitely! she just high tailed out of church literally! I had no choice I ran out with her also. We dissolved into laughter at the door but came back later after getting the "look at these Jezebels " looks from the ushers who I am sure are worse than us.

Moving on!
Does anyone notice how BET is now just like MTV? i am not surprised both companies are owned by the same person. Black people need to get some quality shows that portray black people in a good light. And i don't mean shows like Baldwin Hills. ps the ghetto chick is a hoochie! but a fun hoochie! shes the most interesting character on the dry show. I mean the same company owns MTV Vh1 and BET. BET is now a clone of MTV. Its weird that Black TV is owned by a predominately white company!

Moving on again
Shower hour on Bigbrother Like WTF!!!??? I know we are hypocritical in Africa esp Naija but this is disturbing! they would never do such on Us tv. Anyway i get that big brother is on cable in Africa but......this is taking it too far. And who would want to see unedited naked people. People look disgusting naked! its true! without good lighting and camera we should keep that shit to ourselves. How does showing them in the shower add to the story? just my opinion. Its just sad how naija copies every negative thing from the west. there have all the naija versions of yankee tv shows . The government cant be bothered to copy more positive examples from yanks. And the naija version of Who wants to marry a millionaire does not qualify as a postive example!!!

Moving on again and again

Doesn't 50 cent look like a little bitch in this picture. He has a new uninspired album out and you know that's time for a publicity stunt again right!!! he has this "who will sell more albums" thing with kanye west. I was so going to support kanye but when i heard he made gazillions of dollars last year ,I decided to just just download his music illegally! the man is making enuff chedder i dont know why i should help him get richer ! But for real. 50 cent has the same bit, same lyrics, same thing!!
How stupid and generic is his new song with Justin timberlake! Ayo technology!!!??? for real!!!!
okay that's all
FB is dry again
No joke
toodles !!!

Sunday, August 19, 2007

sex sex sex

1. In the company of females, intercourse should be referred to as:a) lovemakingb) screwingc) the pigskin bus pulling into tuna town2.

You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you've both shared:a) your views about what you expect from a sexual relationshipb) your blood-test resultsc) five tequila slammers

3. You time your orgasm so that:a) your partner climaxes firstb) you both climax simultaneouslyc) you don't miss Man U vs Arsenal

4. Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is:a) healthy, creative love-playb) not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend could ever agree toc) not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend need ever find out about

5. Spending the whole night cuddling a woman you've just had sex with is:a) the best part of the experienceb) the second best part of the experiencec) N5000 extra

6. Your girlfriend says she's gained five pounds in the last month. You tell her that it is:a) impossible - she looks too gorgeous!b) not a problem, she can join your gymc) a conservative estimate

7. You think today's sensitive, caring man is:a) a mythb) an oxymoronc) a moron

8. Foreplay is to sex as:a) appetizer is to entreeb) primer is to paintc) a line is to an amusement park ride

9. Which of the following are you most likely to find yourself saying at the end of a relationship?a) "I hope we can still be friends."b) "I'm not in right now, please leave a message at the beep."c) "Welcome to Dumpsville, population, YOU."

10. A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate:a) probably needs more time before she can cope with that sort of intimacyb) is uptight and a waste of timec) shouldn't have sat next to you on the bus in the first place

Score 1 point for every answer "a" Score 2 points for every answer "b" Score 3 points for every answer "c" Your Score10 points: You are a saint, a liar, or a eunuch. 11-20 points: You are an average joe. Good luck in the battle of the sexes. 21-30 points: You are a real man's man. Your fear of intimacy with women and your love of men's sports screams latent homosexuality. You need a nice she-male dominatrix to teach you respect. 31-40 You can't add.

Anyway I finally found something midly interesting on FB so decided to put it up!
So what is the topic in question today! sex , sex and more sex!
infact I am back to blogging full time
wel before i go on a three month break again oh!!!

the topic today is Blow jobs. since i am new in the game i try to get more information on the whole sordid deal. I have friends who are at both extremes ,some wont do it , others are experts who give us newbies some tips.
Anyway I am not officially a bad girl * COUGH* COUGH***
I guess I am just going a little crazy because i was never a bad girl in college. PLS ALLOW NOW!!
Anyway YOB so loved it. i mean he looked at me like i was the best thing since sliced bread. I aint going to lie I did feel a sense of power doing it sha. But its kind of demeaning to women . But to each his own.
SO what do you guys think about it? Vixen or Baltimore?
Oh yeah the taylor woman is wazky but she speaks the truth!!!!

till we meet again oh!
ps i am thinking of changing the blog to invite only. CNG might actually read this shit !

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

the prodigal sister returns -boys boys boys, summer sorry vixen!

i havent updated since may . wow is any one still there except naija vixen sha
yep its only the VIXEN here
girl i would have deleted this blog if not for you but you know you are my sister now
so i haven't blogged since may and this is august
what has happened in my all the time DRY life!!!
Well, i graduated oh. Thank Jesus.
I will not be a SUPER SENIOR .Some people have been in school for 6 years. Abeg it don do. leave school. Especially these agbaya useless Naija boys who refuse to leave school.Please GO!!! they will continue chasing skirts around. I was the victim of agbayantis . This bobo didn't take no for an answer
I was also a victim of "Ilikeolderwomen itis" . This yeye 18 year old convinced himself that he was in love with him.
See me see trouble oh ! You would think YOB would act jealous like in all those romance novels oh . NO! he was laughing . He calls me a sugar mommy now. Speaking of YOB , I shouldn't have done the nasty with him. Like DAMN!! He has been like a kid with a new toy. I Am a freak but not that much!!! Please let my "tender parts" rest. Oh he got really irritated when CNG told him that her older brother wanted to "chase me too. I aint even going to LIE!!!!!!!!!!! my head was swelling. THAT boy is FINE!!!! you know one of those guys that you re like "Boy i dont care if you cheat on me, i just want to be seen with you in public " Like Damn ! Anyway i am glad he got a LITTLE jealous.
anyway I am glad , now i am a graduate with the most useless degree ( bio) Of to med school.
Until then I will ALWAYS be broke. . It sucks when all your friends are career women and you are the youngest and brokest.
But one day sha I will be a rich bitch !!!!!!!!!!! even if it kills me!
i have to read for the mcat and sha start applying so no more partying for me!!!
this Summer was CRAZY with the amount of partying and partying and partying
anyway i think i am becoming too nice. i racked my brain for someone to yap but i cant. oh well i could just mention that a certain yello paw paw in a nija group still cannot sing ! i am sorry ! use beats or electronics , she still cant. Anyway jennifer lopez cant sing either so shes in good company. jlo reminded me of beyonce falling on her ass. when i watched it i laughed and laughed and then laughed so much. Priceless !!
i said i wasnt going to hate anymore but it just the truth. i read my last post and i get nightmares when i see the face of "my i am pained no one dances with me " Ok that was mean . God I repent :)
Anyway I am liking Banky. The ebutte metta song was catchy sha. although its the umbrella ella ella e e tune that makes it good it lacks originality but he is talented .
on my gosh i said something NICE! what is wrong with me!!!!??? i must be going CRAZY!!!
I am a mean girl now! ok a nice mean girl.
Beauty in Baltimore I watched that Taylor woman . Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL !! LMAO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!FUNNY !
"dick will make you slap somebody " "piloting the pussy " " Penis power " Power of the pussy"
The woman is a HOOT !!! and that was her mother she was talking to . Imagine me telling my momsie all this SHIT! that will be the day!!!! my friends and i call it "power of the puswah" when we are in public. speaking of pussies. I was laughing so much in Transformers . meen . went to watch it with the girls but we were cracking up for the wrong reason.
first this movie was too long
then too cheesy
Lines from the movie - You are a soldier now!" " whatever happens i will always be with you" and dont forget the love affair btw the robot and the guy . Like come on now.
Anyway we nicknamed the goodie robot as octimuspussy. I know immature but funny sha .
what else happened this summer . yeah fun ! fun ! fun ! i cant remember all and i am to lazy to remember sha .
in other man news I think one guy is trying to place me as a fuck buddie oh! see me see trouble. hmm. he does the whole friends thing but Will not stop texting me about hanging out and doing stuff together. Like every weekend !!!! Homie i have a bobo now. He wants to spend every weekend with me BUT he points out all the time that we are just friends oh !
Men !

ok tata
I usually end with something from FB buts its so dry so till we meet again oh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!