preemptive strike -Love , Marriage and Nigerians

Ok so this will be one of my many posts on love , marriage and nigerians. I dont have a very good view of marrriage. I dont think I want to get married anytime soon. When i hear marriage all i can think of is PRISON, TRAPPED. maybe its the bad marriages around me or something. I wasn even aware of trends in the naija marriage market until recently. Ok, so i am in the car with two friends driving to a party and the conversation goes like this.
Friend 1: My sister is getting married.
Omo naija : really when
Friend 1: next year
omo naija: isnt she too young , whats the rush
friend 2: young ke, at what age do you want to get married
omo naija : maybe at 30
friend 1 and 2 : eh 30 ke!!! ah you will be to old!!! who will marry you, if you tell a guy you are twentyy... they lean in but when they hear twenty seven , they lean back they dont want anything to do with you.
omo naija (at this point i am quite surprised) : at what age do you think people are supposed to be married
Friend 1 : in your early 20's so you can have your children early
omo naija : i wasnt aware of that , sorry oh
Friend 1:Friend 2 is getting married soon though
omo naija : (*at this point i descreetly look at her finger and see that there is no engagement ring on her finger, i say to myself where is the ring?? but outloud) oh really, when
friend 2: in about a years time

I later find out from friend 1 that the friend 2 met the guy she is talking about about a month ago from a dating website and she had only seen him once.. Who knows what the guy told her and she started telling everyone she was getting married, without a proposal

ok so after this conversation I realized i was kind of in the dark of expectations of marriage in the naija culture. talking to other friends i realized this was the prevalent opinion.
its like marriage is the sole purpose of a woman's life. she must get married. no matter how inappropiate the guy is, even if he cheats or whatever she must get married.
so i thought 2 myself . thank God my family does not have this attitude or so i thought
ok so a couple of weeks later iget a call from my aunt Aunt D. I am closest to Aunt D of all my momsie's sisters. She's only 8 years older than me, so we kind of click.
The phone conversation goes like this
Aunt D :Where are you?
omo naija: in another state, i came to visit friend . we went to primary school together
Aunt D : really, have fun make sure she takes you to meet guys ohh
omo naija :for what??!!
Aunt D: aahahh so you can start dating and maybe get married
omo naija : (At this point i am surprised, this was the first time i had heard this and i am not at all close to the age where i should start settling down so i say) how old do you think I am?
Aunt d: It doesnt matter, i have noticed thaat naija girls at a certain age are finding it hard to find husbands. done be like Busola(not real name)
Busola is my older aunts friend, she is 30 and not married. A crime in the naija world. My aunt said this like Busola had some incurable veneral disease. Her voice dripped with the silent assertion, dont be a failure like her,be like me I am married.
anyway as i talked to my aunty i realized that her and my older aunt , aunt B were already planning for my furture behind my back. they talked about which families thet wanted me to marry in to, who they wanted to hook me up with. eeehh i didnt no this was going on oh. My aunts are really military strategist, they wanted to start the search really early for me , so i would be well ahead of the game. Bush needed strategists like this when planning for the preemtive strike in iraq. where were my aunts when he needed them. I swear he would have found weapons of mass destruction with their help.
I love my aunts ;however, whats the rush! haba!!!
i can find a husband by myself and what if i decide to me like oprah and not get married!! ehh!!
marriage is not all that . not all marriages work. Aunt D fiights with her husband all the time. they fight like cats and dogs and they have only been married for 2 years. when i see her fighting with him, i am like is this what marriage is!?
i do eventually want to get married , nobody wants to be alone. furthermore, i cant be a 30 year old clubing with the 18 year olds and most of my friends will be married anyway. and i do want kids. but i will not be desperate.
A lot of naija girls have achieved a lot.they have careers and jobs, yet they are made to feel like failures because they are not married. As long as their momsie can say my daughter is married, they are satisfied."
its sad.